Reactive attachment disorder according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association, R.A.D is an uncommon disorder which follows children’s experiences of extreme neglect or abuse.
It is usually caused when a young child’s bond with its primary caregiver is cut, while the child is very young.
It may manifest in children who have been adopted, it can lead these children to be very withdrawn or extremely clingy.
These are 6 things that people with R.A.D may relate to.
1) Views relationships as threatening: ok so you have people around you, who you wouldn’t mind making friends with, actually that’s exactly what you want to do, you want to come home and fall into the embrace of someone who will understand you, and people try to get close but every time you push them away, while others may see you as a snub, it’s just your way of protecting yourself.
Although it may not be a memory you remember, you are sure there was a point where a very important relationship was skewered, a relationship where someone who was supposed to always be by your side left you and now that is where your fear comes from. Whether true or not, you are just sure that whoever you let in will do the same and so you push everyone away, self-defence, prevention is better than cure.
2) Resists comforting: hey we all get sad, and what could be better than being in pain and having someone to cheer you up? The problem though when it comes to those with R.A.D, that comfort is needed, but not accepted. You will most likely not tell people who you’re even in pain, because you hold the belief that no one cares, no matter what they say or how they act. Even when you honestly want to reach out, something pulls you back each and every time, and so you suffer in silence, each and every time. Or if not, you take matters into your own hands, you may start cutting, something to use to ignore the emotional pain that you feel, after all, better physical than emotional, right?
3) A lot of people with R.A.D may be atheists, its simple sense, if your primary care giver can let you down, disappoint or abandon you, then so can any deity, in fact if that deity is supposed to be all loving, then why did he/she/they take away that person from you? Why did they make your life so hard? Why did they leave you in this mess and where is that supposed all supreme deity now? Missing of course, just like everyone else.
4) You eat compulsively, or hoard and keep things for yourself, whether you’re hungry or need them or not. This happens because, at a point in your life, your next meal was not very certain and so you had to eat as much you could when you could; sometimes you were forced to eat it all. For a long time you’ve had fend for yourself, if that means eating everything as fast as possible, then so be it, and that is an attitude you still carry on and may never stop.
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5) You don’t get sick, why? Because there’s nobody to take of you, and so you’re careful, if you’re sick, you’re on your own. To be honest am not sure if this is the only reason that we don’t get sick. Yes, I have R.A.D.
6) Have trouble floating in water, you have to trust that nothing will happen to you while you’re in the water, you will not be pushed out to sea and there are people there who will save you, but for some reason this is something you can’t do, you can’t let yourself go completely, you must have some control if not all control, over what is happening to you, and if you let yourself go, no one will help you, and so no floating for you, not because you don’t want to but because you cant.
There are other things we experience, the older we get the worse it gets, but maybe with some help, you may get better.