There are plenty of annoying misconceptions about Young single mothers. Let’s clear them up here.
1) They are Automatically Bad Parents
The other day I was at the hospital with my daughter for vaccination.I got there on time, and as we were waiting for our turn I decided to nurse my kid, and that was when all hell broke loose. It started with the stares then the hushed talks began. One woman who was clearly pretending to talk in hush tones looked over with a killer glance (the one those Nigerian ladies give their mortal enemies) and started telling her friend that she feels pity for my child because a kid is raising her.
She went on to say that I probably have no idea what I am doing. She also said that the kid must be hungry because I probably didn’t feed her since all the girls my age know how to do is Facebook, chat and abort babies. Let’s just say that I gave that woman a chunk of my mind before I left she would never shame or stigmatize another lady like that again.
2) They must be of Loose Character
This always annoys me, slut .just because a girl has a kid in her early twenties doesn’t mean that the slut. This is the age most girls fall in love or think they are in love and naturally they want to be with the guy who evoked those feelings in them. It might even be just one boy who pretends to be a gentleman only to turn out to be just another deadbeat, irresponsible man. She gets pregnant and decides to keep the child and learned her lesson.
I believe she is much better off than the girl who decides to abort and never learns her lesson.She is not going around putting it out for any man who comes along. There is no need to slut-shame her and use her as some bad influence referral point in your village. She is just a girl who owned up to her mistake ….let it go…
Related Post: Top 6 Influential Women Who Were Born As Men
3) No/Hopeless Future
As soon as you have a kid in your early twenties, apparently your life is over, and next comes your social suicide and burial.People have painted this picture whereby early pregnancy is like a curse.These young girls have a bright future ahead of them; their lives are not over.
Any one of these girls can decide to be there for their kids and still pursue their dreams if anything there is no motivation better than that desire to be able to give your kid a better life and prove all the naysayers wrong.
Life will go on and as long as you desire to be better not even pregnancy can stop you, yes…it will slow you down a little but trust me you will still get there.
4) Lead a Boring Life
Ok, I know this may sound crazy but it is the truth once you become a mom it becomes all about your kid.You may not love the changing diapers, and you certainly won’t enjoy it when the kids burp on your blouse, but the rest of motherhood is enjoyable. Your kid becomes your best friend, and you won’t even realize how fast the kid grows up.
Every new thing the kid does will fascinate and warm your heart with pride.I would honestly take that rather than a hangover any day. Sometimes we may want to unwind, and we make time for it.It is all about planning some free time to yourself and getting to relax. Motherhood is not some succubus monster that sucks all the fun in your life, on the contrary, it just gives you more joy and pride in your heart.
5) Can’t be Good Enough to be Married
Young single mothers are often criticized a lot when they decide they want to start dating and have a shot at finding love. I once heard a woman who said that the problem with the young single mothers is they are good at stealing other women husbands and being mistresses.
If you happen to get a good man who accepts your kid and marries you, the man is questioned if he is surely sane and the in-laws make it their mission to remind you that you are damaged goods.Apparently being a single mom cancels out all your chances at true love and you are doomed to be a bitter woman who ends up knitting and rearing cats.
God forbid that you want to get married in a church then the pastors pile up on your stigma and sometimes even refuse to have wed you. The stigma should stop being a single mom is doesn’t make one a bad woman and it doesn’t dwindle your chances of future marital bliss just find a good loving man who loves and accepts you as you are, that’s what true love is all about.
6) Must be from a Broken Home
Not every single mother out there came from broken homes, sometimes things just happen, and you find yourself as a young single mother. Sometimes the man walks out or worse he dies and sometimes the relationship doesn’t work and it is just better to raise your kid alone than have an irresponsible man co-parenting with you.
Even if the single mom comes from a broken family it doesn’t mean she was raised badly; it does not give anyone a right to blame her mom who raised her alone through a lot of hard work and heartache.No woman sets out to be a single mom, and when it happens, she just has to pull herself together, get a support system and do the best for her kid.
All in all, I think the problem is the men. No one ever asks why the man responsible left instead we heap the blame and the stigma on these young women and just pat the man on the back. Society has made these young women feel ashamed, and some have even gone as far as to make them outcasts.
Just remember at one point they decided to do the right thing unlike most of their peers who just chose the abort option and gladly move on with life forgetting they just murdered someone. Don’t be too quick to drive these girls mad with depression at least be kind and if you can’t just don’t go out of your way to be horrible or to stigmatize them.